Saturday, July 10, 2010

The Big Chill

When I was a young waiter, from time to time I'd have customers (mostly women, but a few men) who liked to flirt with me pretty aggressively. I was so naive, and I embarrassed easily, so I can see why it was fun for them, but it wasn't usually so much fun for me.

There were two gals in particular who did their level best to shock me. They dressed in short skirts and bustiers with fishnet stockings and high heels. Kinda like drag queens (if I had known what a drag queen looked like at that age - I wasn't out yet). One night they came in to the restaurant, asked for my station, and ordered dessert. Lots of lip licking and playing with their straws and other suggestive movements, and then, "I want a banana nut crepe ... with a REALLY BIG banana!" The other gal ordered her dessert, probably just as tauntingly, but it's the crepe I remember.


I called the order for the crepe (the only part of the order the cook handled) and when it came up, I made the dessert ... 3 little balls of vanilla ice cream rolled in the crepe, covered with hot fudge, sliced bananas over the top, whipped cream and chopped nuts, all on a dessert plate. Then I braced myself for the inevitable finger in the whipped cream or the "Nice nuts" comment; I just wanted to get it over with.

I set the dessert in front of the woman - very buxom in her bustier - and those little balls of ice cream, warmed by the hot crepe, shot out the end of it straight into her cleavage. I was laughing so hard I fell down. I really couldn't have aimed any better if I'd been trying. It's still one of my favorite moments from waiting tables, but after that I did learn to serve the crepes flat side forward.

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